Relationship

Do not force someone to love you the way you wanted to be loved back, it is not love at all, love is when you expect nothing and gain nothing and at the end you will be able to accept everything, without reasons, without questions.

Why do people get hurt?It is because they expect too much even though the answer is already in their hands. If a relationship fails, it fails not because of one person, but both. It is like a weighing scale, there is no exact measurement if there is no balance. When you are in a relationship, be mature enough to face everything. Act like a responsible individual. You really can't hold a person for too long because you do not own that person. If you really love that person, have some respect on yourself and respect his/her decision. That is how to move forward. Acceptance.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014 by Unknown · 0

The History of Valentine's Day

The origin of this holiday for the expression of love really isn't romantic at all -- at least not in the traditional sense. Father Frank O'Gara of Whitefriars Street Church in Dublin, Ireland, tells the real story of the man behind the holiday -- St. Valentine.

"He was a Roman Priest at a time when there was an emperor called Claudias who persecuted the church at that particular time," Father O'Gara explains. " He also had an edict that prohibited the marriage of young people. This was based on the hypothesis that unmarried soldiers fought better than married soldiers because married soldiers might be afraid of what might happen to them or their wives or families if they died."

"I think we must bear in mind that it was a very permissive society in which Valentine lived," says Father O'Gara. "Polygamy would have been much more popular than just one woman and one man living together. And yet some of them seemed to be attracted to Christian faith. But obviously the church thought that marriage was very sacred between one man and one woman for their life and that it was to be encouraged. And so it immediately presented the problem to the Christian church of what to do about this."

"The idea of encouraging them to marry within the Christian church was what Valentine was about. And he secretly married them because of the edict."

Valentine was eventually caught, imprisoned and tortured for performing marriage ceremonies against command of Emperor Claudius the second. There are legends surrounding Valentine's actions while in prison.

"One of the men who was to judge him in line with the Roman law at the time was a man called Asterius, whose daughter was blind. He was supposed to have prayed with and healed the young girl with such astonishing effect that Asterius himself became Christian as a result."

In the year 269 AD, Valentine was sentenced to a three part execution of a beating, stoning, and finally decapitation all because of his stand for Christian marriage. The story goes that the last words he wrote were in a note to Asterius' daughter. He inspired today's romantic missives by signing it, "from your Valentine."

"What Valentine means to me as a priest," explains Father O'Gara, "is that there comes a time where you have to lay your life upon the line for what you believe. And with the power of the Holy Spirit we can do that -- even to the point of death."

Valentine's martyrdom has not gone unnoticed by the general public. In fact, Whitefriars Street Church is one of three churches that claim to house the remains of Valentine. Today, many people make the pilgrimage to the church to honor the courage and memory of this Christian saint.

"Valentine has come to be known as the patron saint of lovers. Before you enter into a Christian marriage you want some sense of God in your life -- some great need of God in your life. And we know, particularly in the modern world, many people are meeting God through his Son, Jesus Christ."

"If Valentine were here today, he would say to married couples that there comes a time where you're going to have to suffer. It's not going to be easy to maintain your commitment and your vows in marriage. Don't be surprised if the 'gushing' love that you have for someone changes to something less "gushing" but maybe much more mature. And the question is, is that young person ready for that?"

"So on the day of the marriage they have to take that into context," Father O'Gara says. "Love -- human love and sexuality is wonderful, and blessed by God -- but also the shadow of the cross. That's what Valentine means to me."


Source:www.cbn.com

Thursday, February 13, 2014 by Unknown · 0

10 things you must know before coming to Malaysia

Each country has its own different beliefs and culture.  My first day in Malaysia felt like I was in the Philippines.  The only different thing is there are a lot of Indian people roaming around the city.

I listed some 10 things you badly needed to know before paying a visit in Malaysia.

1.  THREE RACES.  They can speak English in different accents.  Most Malays are the shy type, the Chinese are the fast talkers, and the Indians are the confident ones. 

2. ONE RINGGIT IS NOT ONE PESO. Pay attention when you do shopping. Most of the time, the prices in Malaysia ranges from ONE RINGGIT UP! So try not to screw your budget. 

3. "LAH!"

I really do not understand where the word "lah" came from.  Every time I am having a conversation with them they always say, "No lah!" "Yes lah!" "You go lah!" ( I am not a grandma!) hahaha!

4. ECHO. Once you told them that you are a Filipino.  Their first question would be, "Do you know Jericho Rosales?" (I was laughing after.  Even now, hahaha! Sad to say, they did not know who is COCO MARTIN!). 

5. SINGAPORE. If you step in Malaysia, better bring a larger budget because the next stop is just Singapore, especially if you will go to LEGOLAND (Johor).

6. JOBS. Do not try to look for a job without enough money.  A lot of scams are wandering around Malaysia.  They provide jobs, but you pay your own visa and working permit.  I suggest go to an authentic employment agency where you will be safe.  Do not fly to Malaysia until you got your visa and working permit.

7. TIME IS GOLD. When I woke up at 7:00 in the morning, I was searching for the sun.  The sun usually rises late in Malaysia and it also goes down around 7:30 in the evening.  So even I go home around 6:00 in the evening, the heat of the sun is still there.

8. FREE BUS RIDE! You can travel around the city of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia by just riding this free bus.  It has its own route so you should grab a map and enjoy the ride.

9. CHOCOLATES.  You will never regret eating chocolates in Malaysia.  It is not expensive and it makes you happy. Not just Cadbury products, Hershey's also are available, almost all of the branded chocolates are sold for a lower price. 

10. MALAYSIANS VERSUS PINOY.  I listed this last because I want you to realize how important it is to be mindful about our own self.  I love Malaysia and I enjoyed my stay there.  When I came and mingled with the different people in Malaysia, at first they were trying to read my thoughts, my actions, I can sense they are having hard time trusting someone like me.  Later on, I built rapport and a shocking truth was revealed.  Sad to say, some of our fellowmen who are currently living in Malaysia are doing something that the Malaysians did not like.  So every time they see a Filipino, well, mostly they will generalized that we are all the same.  A lesson I would like to bring to everyone: Let us love our friends and foes.  Do good and stay away from trouble.  Maintain our morals and preserve our culture.  I do hope time will come that all of this issues will soon fade and peace will conquer.

Disclaimer: I do not own the photos and this list is just my experience and opinion.

Sunday, February 09, 2014 by Unknown · 0

How China Deals With Internet-Addicted Teens?

Compulsive Internet use has been categorized as a mental health issue in many countries, including the United States, but China was among the first to label “Internet addiction” a clinical disorder.

In this Op-Doc video, we show the inner workings of a rehabilitation center where Chinese teenagers are “deprogrammed.” The Internet Addiction Treatment Center, in Daxing, a suburb of Beijing, was established in 2004. It was one of the first of its kind – and there are now hundreds of treatment programs throughout China and South Korea. (The first inpatient Internet addiction program in the United States recently opened in Pennsylvania.)

A short documentary about a Chinese boot-camp-style treatment center for young men “addicted” to the Internet.
Watch the video here: http://youtu.be/jqctG3NnDa0

The program featured in this video admits teenagers, usually male, whose parents typically take them there against their will. Once inside, the children are kept behind bars and guarded by soldiers. Treatment, which often lasts three to four months, includes medication and therapy, and sometimes includes parents. Patients undergo military-inspired physical training, and their sleep and diet are carefully regulated. These techniques (some of which are also used in China to treat other behavioral disorders) are intended to help the patients reconnect with reality.

Yet after four months of filming in this center (for our documentary “Web Junkie”), some vital questions remained: Are the children being accurately evaluated? And is the treatment effective? In many cases, it seemed parents were blaming the Internet for complex social and behavioral issues that may defy such interventions. (For example, we noticed that some patients experienced difficult family relationships, social introversion and a lack of friends in the physical world.) Tao Ran, the center’s director, claims a 70 percent success rate. If that’s true, perhaps China’s treatment model is something other nations should embrace, however disturbing it may seem to outsiders. There is still no real global consensus among experts about what constitutes addiction to the Internet, and whether the concept even exists, particularly in a strict medical sense.

What is clear is that this issue is not confined to China. With millions (if not billions) glued to screens and electronic devices, the overuse of technology is becoming a universal, transnational concern. While treatment methods may vary, one way or another, we will need to find effective ways to moderate our use of technology and provide help to those who need it.

Source: The New York Times

Monday, February 03, 2014 by Unknown · 0

WARNING SIGNS OF AN ABUSER

(1) PUSHES FOR QUICK INVOLVEMENT: Comes on strong, claiming, "I've never felt loved like this by anyone." An abuser pressures the new partner for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

(2) JEALOUS: Excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work because "you might meet someone"; checks the mileage on your car.

(3) CONTROLLING: If you are late, interrogates you intensively about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.

(4) UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: Expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need.

(5) ISOLATION: Tries to isolate you from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of "causing trouble." The abuser may deprive you of a phone or car, or try to prevent you from holding a job.

(6) BLAMES OTHERS FOR PROBLEMS OR MISTAKES: It's always someone else's fault if something goes wrong.

(7) MAKES OTHERS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS OR HER FEELINGS: The abuser says, "You make me angry" instead of "I am angry," or says, "You're hurting me by not doing what I tell you."

(8) HYPERSENSITIVITY: Is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings when he or she is really mad. Rants about the injustice of things that are just a part of life.

(9) CRUELTY TO ANIMALS OR CHILDREN: Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability (whips a 3-year-old for wetting a diaper) or may tease them until they cry. Sixty-five percent of abusers who beat their partners will also abuse children.

(10) "PLAYFUL" USE OF FORCE DURING SEX: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will during sex; finds the idea of rape exciting.

(11) VERBAL ABUSE: Constantly criticizes or says blatantly cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. This may also involve sleep deprivation, waking you with relentless verbal abuse.

(12) RIGID GENDER ROLES: Expects you to serve, obey, remain at home.

(13) SUDDEN MOOD SWINGS: Switches from sweet to violent in minutes.

(14) PAST BATTERING: Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person "made" him (or her) do it.

(15) THREATS OF VIOLENCE: Says things like, "I'll break your neck" or "I'll kill you," and then dismisses them with, "Everybody talks that way," or "I didn't really mean it."

Monday, February 03, 2014 by Unknown · 0

How did Chinese New Year first came to exist?

The most important holiday for Chinese around the world is undoubtedly Chinese New Year -- and it all started out of fear.

The centuries-old legend on the origins of the New Year celebration varies from teller to teller, but they all include a story of a terrible mythical monster who preyed on villagers. The lion-like monster’s name was Nian (年) which is also the Chinese word for “year."

The stories also all include a wise old man who counsels the villagers to ward off the evil Nian by making loud noises with drums and firecrackers and hanging red paper cutouts and scrolls on their doors because for some reason, the Nian is scared of the color red.

The villagers took the old man’s advice and the Nian was conquered. On the anniversary of the date, the Chinese recognize the “passing of the Nian” known in Chinese as guo nian (过年), which is also synonymous with celebrating the new year.

Based on the Lunar Calendar

The date of Chinese New Year changes each year as it is based on the lunar calendar. While the western Gregorian calendar is based on the earth’s orbit around the sun, China and most Asian countries use the lunar calendar that is based on the moon’s orbit around the earth. Chinese New Year always falls on the second new moon after the winter solstice. Other Asian countries such as Korea, Japan and Vietnam also celebrate new year using the lunar calendar.

While both Buddhism and Daoism has unique customs during the New Year, Chinese New Year is far older than both religions. Like many agrarian societies, Chinese New Year is rooted in much a celebration of spring just like Easter or Passover.

Depending on where rice is grown in China, the rice season lasts from roughly May to September (north China), April to October (Yangtze River Valley), or March to November (Southeast China). The New Year was likely the start of preparations for a new growing season.

Spring cleaning is a common theme during this time, as many Chinese will clean out their homes during the holiday. The New Year celebration could even have been a way to break up the boredom of the long winter months.

Traditional Customs

On this day, families travel long distances to meet and make merry. Known as the "Spring movement" or Chunyun (春运), a great migration takes place in China during this period where many travelers brave the crowds to get to their hometowns.

Though the holiday is only about a week-long, traditionally it is a 15-day holiday during which firecrackers are lit, drums can be heard on the streets, red lanterns glow at night, and red paper cutouts and calligraphy hangings are hung on doors. Celebrations conclude on the 15th day with the Lantern Festival.

Children are also given red envelopes with money inside. Many cities around the world also hold New Year parades complete with a dragon and lion dance.

Food is an important component to New Year. Traditional foods include nian gao or sweet sticky rice cake and savory dumplings - which are round and symbolize never-ending wealth. For more about Chinese New Year foods visit About.com’s Chinese Food site.

Chinese New Year vs. Spring Festival

In China, New Year celebrations are synonymous with “Spring Festival” (春节 or chūn jié) and it is typically a week-long celebration.

The origins of this renaming from "Chinese New Year" to “Spring Festival” is fascinating and not widely known.

In 1912, the newly-formed Chinese Republic, governed by the Nationalist party, renamed the traditional holiday to Spring Festival in order to get the Chinese people to transition to celebrating the Western New Year instead.

During this period, many Chinese intellectuals felt that modernization meant doing all the things as the West did.

When the Communists took over power in 1949, the celebration of New Year was viewed as feudalistic and seeped in religion -- not proper for an atheist China. Under the Chinese Communist Party, there were some years where New Year was not celebrated at all.

By the late 1980s, however, as China began liberalizing its economy, Spring Festival celebrations became big business.

China Central Television has held an annual New Year’s Gala since 1982, which was and is still televised across the country and now via satellite to the world.

A few years ago, the government announced that it would shorten its holiday system. The May Day holiday would be shortened from a week to one day and the National Day holiday would be made two days instead of a week. In their place, more traditional holidays such as the Mid-Autumn Festival and Tomb-Sweeping Day might be implemented.

The only week-long holiday that was maintained is Spring Festival. Perhaps even today, several millennia after the first New Year, the fear of the Nian is alive and well.


Source: http://chineseculture.about.com/od/chinesefestivals/a/ChineseNewYear.htm

Sunday, February 02, 2014 by Unknown · 0